Sonia Poulton commented
'God there is already horrible comments on the Daily Mail article about M.E. Why do people hate ME sufferers so much'
they do hate people with M.E.
We look normal,
they conclude it's all physiological,
demand we pull ourselves together,
look at the paralympians!
expect we enjoy the status of being ill.
They privatising their own thoughts and views
buying the rhetoric of resentment
paying for it by selling their eyes to tabloid self-justification.
It costs them their humanity,
it costs them their intelligence
logically they spiralling inward
in shallow earth scraped circles of infertile dust
and we loose a means to live,
We loose respect,
we loose all the years of living,
we loose all the national insurance we paid,
we loose a body and mind
that were once bright stared and functioning
blown away in the dust storm that ended our old lives
and heaped into dried-up memory piles
stifling the doorways and windows of our old worlds,
blocking the old, once open, pathways.
but we gain insight and open eyes
to the callous bigotry
to the discrimination and embittered emotions
that the disabled have heaped upon them
by the readers of this acid poison,
the new believers, the converts
who subtly enjoy the lie
that the deserving will be all-right,
only the 'others' who are not justified,
who the country can not afford,
will be punished, serves them right!
and we see through
the politicians leading sardonic fixed grin
and editors nose for hate stirring,
because our affliction
has steered us away from those resentful kernels
of the darkening mean minds and shirking hearts,
and guided us to look towards
to listen to,
our bright shining hearts.
And I, preparing to publish my response here on my blog, I have stumbled onto another poem bubbling up erratically from my mind interface.
first the poem I have just roughed up,
and 2nd my comment poem (10 likes) on Michael Rosen's FB page
and then some reactions to that from the Michael Rosen's Facebook!
No 2 A million shades of disabled grey.
aware of people with chronic disabilities,
am torn by happiness
that people with certain types of disabilities
can find themselves able to meet personal challenges
to push themselves towards remarkable instances of achievement,
to compete, work in teams toward sporting recondition,
and the realisation that this represents so few,
that it is a distorted mirror of us,
whispered rumours that change society's views of us
for both good and bad,
I posted a comment yesterday
reflects things as they are
for the majority of people with disabilities and chronic health conditions,
with no possibility of sponsorship or additional funding.....
who perhaps like me can not stand 'toe to toe'
and fight my condition on a physical level and win,
can not fight the perceptions of others,
can not demonstrate in front of thousands of spectators
in front of millions of viewers
my needs to be social, creative, successful on a sports field, track or gym,
I can not undertake and win against these battles
fought with physicality,
I am engaged in a long term military campaign
against all these issue,
loosing, forfeiting battles that I could not undertake,
to just keep on surviving,
leading a resistance and guerilla war is the flip-side of my disability,
to keep on breathing in life and its opportunities,
to be happy
to 'win' the bigger picture,
the on-going forced on us campaign
of just to be recognised, seen,
valued for ourselves alone.
no cash or economic values given,
just to be recognised
against the back ground of any disability.
A disability that keeps on sneakingly becoming
the foreground of the photo,
that the Media,
and even You create.
the background of my life,
jumps up and becomes the foreground
takes over and obscures me
and all my fellows,
a million shades of disabled grey.
No 1 Can I have a medal for that?!
I have an invisible disability,
so can I have my invisible medal and my life back?!
I get an income for the job I just about hold down,
can I have a medal for that?!
Physical effort does not give me release,
it don't do that for me,
Instead what is left of my life crumbles, falls away.
Aching and bruised limbs, dulled and a faltering brain,
lost co-ordination comes to stay when physical effort is called up.
Like an unwanted and over enthusiastic paralympic commentator it crushed the spirit; remarkable!?
Do I really have to stay here watching all the adverts and chatter and have no say in my life while this malaise ripens. yes I do,
do I get a medal for that?!
I get no 'joy through work' either,
but most people can not expect joy through work,
so we none of us get medals for that?!
So why is paid work so important for those with chronic illness and disabilities?
Why such a convulsive theme of all Political Parties?!
If I win an appeal against ATOS,
manage to hold on to a disability parking disk,
get and keep a reasonable adjustment at work,
stay below the sacking work attendance procedures,
have an interview when my disability and health
is not again the major subject of the meeting,
dragging out again 'we are only being equal and fair' .
'How can you improve your attendance' you ask AGAIN
when my journey to and from work
to get up and face another day,
is more of a challenge than the worst minute of your working week!
Can I have a medal for that?!
Staying calm whilst they hammer home my uncontrollable inadequacies and the disability restrictions placed on my life
Constantly trotted out again and again by our caring state and welfare mind keepers.
Can I get a medal for that?!
When all I want to do is just somehow get on with it,
to stop being reminded of it,
Remind me again, that I am 'not up to the normal standard'
well thanks, can I have a medal for that?!
I noticed that the the Paralympians,
When holding their medals high,
were not constantly reminded that their times, their sports
were not as good or the same as the 'normal' Olympian events.
Perhaps they should have been,
because in the real world, let me tell you,
that is what is going on all the time,
the disabled and chronically sick are
reminded all the time that they are not as productive as others,
That you the quisiter, are a caring person,
a fair gate keeper just doing their job.........
but that really, we need to be more like 'normal',
To be fit for work! No medal for that!
Remember, achievement is something sometimes
you can not measure, give medals for.
But callous and political double speaking news-speak;
You can not get a medal for that either!
But you still pursue your persecution un-prosecuted, un-molested
as you molest and meddle with our lives.
You try to cast us, strike us all,
into either golden angles
or devils that suck and scrounge.
Go on, give yourself a medal for that,
you do it so well because you have so much practise
You have so many training sessions,
at being shites....
Very worrying....according to YouGov poll, Labour lead is down to 6%. Not good. You have to be perceived as seriously shite not to be blowing these current a-holes out of the water...It's mid-term...current parties are notoriously unpopular and yet Labour seems to be in need of something dynamic to make the change...looking forward to Ed's response to my last letter, he's back in the office this week and as anyone who knows me knows, I don't go away that easily...really desperate for Labour to stand up STRONG on all issues true to the original party...
And I wrote....
The strength of feeling in the Public that the cuts 'are necessary', that the reality of a broken economy means we can not afford generosity or equality of treatment, that this psyche and myth of austerity in peoples minds is the true situation; that suffering is what we should now expect and "stop complaining", that huge numbers of scroungers and 'work-shy' and 'illegals' are everywhere and are causing this, that they deserve nothing, and this media frenzy seems to engender a societal feeling, an emotional response in people, that needs to look away from the logic, like an undercurrent of a desperate 'need for a powerful leader' and a growth economy lead from 'business leaders' and representatives of the rich and their ilk. This seems to be a strange, but real, psyche event in political discussion and conciousness right now, certainly in all the media and newsprint worlds and the media political debates.
Is this something that political alternatives to the rule of the Capitalist myth building can build a challenge to, blow away the smoke and reveal the mirrors that give emotional feeling and connectivity to the ownership of products, a certain car, or a beauty product, mobile phone, a pair of jeans, a handbag, a computer device, or even just the envisioning of a dream of ownership or reaching a 'purchase life style', of buying a new dream, a quality or quantity of 'perceived existence' no matter how short it may, in reality, be?
Can an opposition Party work through this, start the political discussion needed .....do enough people care about others, can people break the loop arguments and justification of the present situation as 'they' see it, that they are continually personally investing in the objects and objectives of garnished corporate consumptions manipulated desire? ..............is football, sport, Celebrity and our own social desire to dream a little affluence, the opium that the majority will not give up, holding on to dreams spun for profit rather than dreams spun of human spirit and need...................
...............is this a trite rant?! In the old soviet union, and in fascist philosophy, perhaps I would be removed for such view of politics. Are my views today to be ignored instead or am I now a drama queen!
Today, am I right to be concerned that nowhere do I see this myth breaking and dream waking clearly put in any media covered news programmes or political debates.
Tomorrow when I read this I might start laughing, or feel embarrassed. Tonight this seems to be coming from my core.....